My life before yoga or The truth about the past, pain and growth

There was a time - not so long ago, though it seems like a lifetime ago - when my life felt like a loosely bound collection of chaotic decisions, sleepless nights, and directionless wandering. If you'd met me in my younger years, you'd probably describe me as carefree, spontaneous, maybe even fun - but deep down I was a bundle of anxiety, wrapped in low self-esteem and quietly wallowing in doubt.

 

 

Frankly, I had mastered the art of hiding. I hid the real me behind layers of humor, behind parties and late night distractions, behind superficial friendships that safely hid my vulnerability. Authenticity was terrifying. If people saw the real me - awkward and insecure - they might reject me. And rejection was what I feared most. And so I lived my life under a mask.

 

 

Stress was my constant companion. With no clear direction, I chased temporary experiences - whether it was endlessly scrolling through social media for validation, Friday binges that always led to a regretful Saturday morning, or superficial relationships that provided temporary relief from loneliness. Every morning I felt heavy, burdened by the feeling that I was going in circles, never moving forward, and always stuck.

 

 

Then came yoga - my unexpected turning point.

Truth be told, yoga came into my life by innocent invitation. One morning, I decided it was time to act. I signed up determinedly for a power yoga class and mentally prepared myself for it. I expected nothing more than uncomfortable stretching in overpriced leggings. But it seemed the universe had other plans.

 

 

That first yoga class was humbling. As I staggered and swayed in each pose, I found something beautiful: permission to be imperfect. No one laughed at my clumsiness, and no one cared that I couldn't hold tree pose for more than a second. The instructor simply said, "Be where you are today. Accept yourself in this moment."

 

Those words struck me deeply. I realized that for years I had been running away from myself, hiding imperfections behind rants and jokes. Yoga gently nudged me to look within-to face my flaws, accept them, and even laugh lovingly at them.

 

Gradually, my mat became my refuge. It was the one place where my anxiety faded, where my self-deprecation was silenced by acceptance. The physical practice opened a gateway to something deeper: spiritual awakening and self-knowledge. I began to notice changes beyond the mat. I was making decisions in line with who I really was, not what I thought others expected of me. Slowly my self-confidence blossomed and my self-doubt began to fade.

 

I remember the day I realized how profoundly yoga had transformed me. It happened during an ordinary, everyday moment: at home, I was writing in my journal - an activity I had adopted to clarify my thoughts. Then one day when I met a friend from my past on a pleasant walk through town, she immediately uttered, "You've changed," she remarked curiously, but smiled warmly. "You look... happier. More yourself. What's your secret...?"

I returned her smile, feeling truly seen for the first time. "Yoga," I replied. "It's taught me a lot of things and I've gotten to know the real me."

 

 

One day, after a particularly inspiring class, a thought began to resonate within me: what if I could share this healing and empowering experience with others? My journey took me from darkness to clarity, from anxiety to peace, and I felt an undeniable desire to help others find their own path. It was then that I realized that becoming a yoga teacher was not just a choice - it was my calling.

 

The decision was not an easy one. Doubts briefly surfaced, whispering that I wasn't flexible, calm or spiritual enough to teach. But yoga had already taught me to breathe away the doubts, and in the end, authenticity won out. I signed up for the teacher training, armed only with my experience, knowledge and a heart full of enthusiasm.

 

Through teacher training, I deepened my practice and understanding of myself. I realized that the best teachers are not perfect, they are honest. They openly share their struggles and imperfections. My strange past was not a barrier - it was a bridge that connected me to those seeking guidance, healing, and uniqueness.

 

I vividly remember teaching my first yoga class. Nervous but excited, I stood in front of a room full of expectant faces and with a smile admitted: "Welcome, my friends. Use this space for yourself, for your relaxation, and listen and respect your body at the same time, as it sends you the signals that make your mind heal. Yoga can show you that none of us has to pretend anymore."

And then I realized that it's not just that. That moment was incredibly liberating - like I had finally fully come into myself.

 

Today, teaching yoga is no longer just my calling - it's my passion, my purpose, and my joy. Every class I lead is a humble reminder of how far I've come. Seeing students breathe deeply, relax their shoulders, and gently awaken to their own strength reminds me daily why I chose this path.

 

Life is not always perfect - it is beautifully messy, wonderfully imperfect, and unadulteratedly adventurous. But through yoga, I've traded chaos for clarity, self-doubt for self-awareness. I stopped chasing superficial approval and started living truly on my own terms with fulfillment.

 

To all who read this article and hide behind masks or are trapped in doubt: know that beauty, growth and peace await on the other side of honesty.

 

Yoga didn't fix everything overnight, but it gently showed me how to trust myself. It can do the same for you.

 

 

I wouldn't trade this awakening for the world...